Sperminated
by GearFourthDerp
Summary: A love between 2 rivals goes a bit too far when Sanji is tested positive. Alternative Universe. Highschool. MPreg. [Zoro x Sanji]


**Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece.**

Sanji sighed, crossing his arms and leaning against the air conditioner as he watched his biology partner get to work. He'd only known the tiny guy, with chocolate hair and eyes, through friends, so it was interesting to see him finally in his element. Because as everyone knew since middle school, if you needed help in science, Chopper was the man to go to. It was by pure luck that Sanji got stuck with the nerd.

He twirled his toothpick in his mouth a bit while stepping away from his makeshift seat, taking a step forward to look over the boy's shoulder. They were in the same grade, but another impressive feat had been Chopper's ability to skip a few grades into their senior class. Sanji had definitely gotten stuck with a smart one.

"You really know your stuff, don't you?" He mused, impressed to watch as Chopper scanned over their text books like they were nothing, filling in their class work in one go.

The little doctor halted at the question, his cheeks turning pink as he turned towards Sanji, moving his arm behind his head and giggling.

"No not really!" He insisted. "My parents are just doctors and I help them run the clinic!"

Sanji lifted a curly eyebrow. A clinic eh? Fate was playing with him it seemed lately. How convenient that he'd been feeling ill lately over and over again, unable to shake a bug. That and a splash of fatigue and weight gain that might happen to the king of the home-ec club, but definitely not the swim club captain. Now he was with a wannabe doctor from a family of doctors who ran a clinic. He tried to look impressed.

"Really? A clinic?"

Chopper laughed again, turning back to the work. Flattery worked wonders on the mini doctor, inspiring him to do their work much faster without any protest's from the blonde about it.

"Yeah! It's really cool. I even get to help do some of the procedures."

With that, Sanji slid into his seat, pulling it up closer to their table and the doctor.

"Oh?"

Chopper kept smiling as he let out a little affirmative hum. Sanji rested his arms on the table, twirling his earlier toothpick between his fingers. He couldn't believe what he was about to ask an almost stranger, but he couldn't go about asking his adoptive, sometimes father, Zeff about it. He'd just get a smack in the head telling him to go and take orders. He was a former sailor who believed in hard work to solve all the problems, even if it started them.

"Oi, Chopper." He asked, lowly. He didn't want any of the other groups to hear what he had to say.

Chopper stopped what he was doing, looking through their microscope at something, before turning to look at Sanji. Something about the tone of his voice made him a little concerned, even if he didn't know Sanji that well. He'd been a doctor in training long enough to recognize uncertainty. He frowned.

"Yeah?" He whispered back.

Sanji scratched at the back of his head, glancing over at him and then quickly averting his eyes.

"Do you think, I could maybe come to the clinic sometime?" It sounded better inside his head. Now it only made him sound like some nerd wanting to go on a date to the clinic.

Chopper didn't know to be excited or not. He loved showing off his families clinic to anyone that would listen but he doubted someone like Sanji, a guy with a reputation for chasing after pretty girls, being the captain of the swim team, the best cook in the grade and the on again off again significant other of the intimidating Zoro Roronoa, would be interested in the medical field of things. If someone like him was asking to go, it might be for something serious. The way that Sanji's eye's looked tired didn't help his case either.

The mini Doctor gave him a soft smile and comfortingly patted his shoulder. "Sure!" He said, keeping his tone happy. "You can come over whenever you want."

Chopper's happiness was contagious and Sanji smiled in return. Easiest appointment making ever. However it was short lived.

"You could come over tonight and we can even finish the rest of this project!" Sang Chopper as he yet again went back to work.

Sanji pressed his lips together, looking over at his paper again, an expression that read 'Alrighty then', because it'd been settled. So after that class, which was their last of the day, Chopper happily agreed to get a ride from Sanji. The blonde was not about to waste any time. If something was wrong with him, he needed to know what was going on. Chopper had never caught a ride from school with a friend before, emphasis on the word 'friend'. Sanji didn't say anything against it though.

* * *

Sanji had nothing planned that evening so he didn't mind giving Chopper a ride. He'd already called Zeff and told him there was an emergency club meeting. The old man was always easier to blow off than a certain Marimo, who had latched onto him as soon as the final bell had rung. He was still grinning from the defeated face the guy had worn when he said he had an errand to run. He pulled into the clinic, thanks to Chopper's directions, to find it mostly empty.

"Are you sure this place is open to the public?" He asked skeptically, taking his keys out of the ignition and opening the door.

Chopper did the same, sliding out of the car and starting up the walk way.

"Yeah! It's always open." He explained, though Sanji still didn't seem to buy it.

"But it's like... Empty."  
Chopper nodded, opening the front door and allowing Sanji inside first, continuing to explain. "Yeah, a lot of people find my parents to be a little weird in their experimental methods."

Sanji stepped inside and froze at that. Experimental methods? He glanced back at Chopper, demanding further explanation. The mini doctor just laughed and assured him whatever he had would be fine. Surely if it was that bad they'd be shut down right? He could risk a little weird for a free checkup right? Somewhat convinced he looked around the office.

Chopper slipped off his shoes, announcing that he was home to no one in particular. Then he led Sanji into a small examination room to the side. He closed the door behind them.

"They might not be home yet so I can go ahead and do some of the basic work." He spoke happily, moving to grab a blank chart on the counter to fill out. He sat in the rolling chair.

"Name?" He asked, trying to put on his most professional expression.

Sanji wanted to laugh out loud. Really? They were going to do this? Play doctor? Fine, if it got him answers he wouldn't protest.

"Sanji Black."

"Age?"

"17."

Chopper nodded, filling in some things he already knew. Then he looked up, smiling still at Sanji.

"Okay Mr. Black, what seems to be the problem?"

Sanji ran his fingers through his hair before letting his hands rest in his lap. How to explain. "Um. I've been kind of feeling like crap lately." He roughly explained.

"How so?"

"I kind of… I've been throwing up a lot lately." he spoke a little softer, now that he had to tell his secrets. "And I get so tired… Like I can barely stay awake and then…" He paused, not sure he should really mention this part.

Chopper stopped writing, waiting before encouragingly parroting the last thing Sanji said. "Then...?"

Sanji sighed, just giving up and saying it. "I've been gaining weight like crazy and it's ridiculous. I mean I'm on the swim team for god's sake, I'm always working out."

Chopper tapped his pen playfully at his bottom lip. "Weight gain can be a result from your fatigue..." He set the clipboard to the side. "I think I'll run some blood tests just to make sure you aren't anemic or anything and then…" He blushed again, getting out of his seat. "I might need a urine sample..."

Sanji got kind of flustered at that too. Giving one of his classmates his urine. Yeah this wasn't weird at all. "Yeah, fine, sure, anything."

He tried being brave when Chopper came back with a needle, biting into his lip when it pierced the skin on his arm and into his vein. Not looking helped tremendously and he only teared up a bit, not that he'd ever admit to it. The urine sample was less awkward, as un awkward as peeing in a cup in a strange place only to hand it off to your classmate could be, but still Sanji obeyed, reminding himself that it was -free-, so long as Chopper did it.

So by the time it was all over he was exhausted, laying across the examination table. He really wasn't sure if he'd be up for any school work, though he didn't really need to help that much with it since Chopper had finished it at school. He knew the mini Doctor had lied to make him feel more comfortable about coming over, he was thankful for that.

He turned his face over boredly, watching as his classmate looked over his results and at some books he had. Sanji assumed that since Chopper wasn't a real doctor yet, he'd probably need to keep double checking everything. He couldn't help but admire his dedication, but didn't understand why it was taking so long. If a lot of that stuff was okay, there shouldn't be a problem right? He glanced at his cellphone for the time. It'd been like two hours already.

Chopper jumped in his seat though as they heard the door from outside slam and someone calling his name. Instantly he was on his feet. "Sorry that's my mom. I'll be right back." He grabbed Sanji's tiny file and fled the room.

Sanji sat up a little dumbstruck. Alright then, finally there was a doctor here. Did that mean he'd finally get a real medical diagnosis? He listened to loud muffled voices outside the door and tilted his head. Were they talking about him? Then it turned to silence and Sanji couldn't help but get nervous, remembering about the experiments. Had he accidentally signed himself into a nut house? That's when he froze, the door opening again.

A woman who looked way over the age Sanji would've imagined Chopper's mom to be strolled in. She was a piece of work though, her body completely um-matching and young in appearance, and quite appeasing in an awkward way. She was wearing inch large heels, moving to sit on the rolling chair and crossing her legs. Chopper was behind her, bringing in a weird machine. Sanji knew he wasn't about to be thrilled to know what that was supposed to do.

The old woman glanced up at Sanji and gave him a crooked smile. She looked like his idea of a witch. "Name's Dr. Kureha." She explained, not even offering her hand for Sanji to shake. She was pinning him down with her gaze. Then she flipped open his chart. "You've been up to no good haven't you Blondie?"

Sanji swallowed thickly. No good? What's that supposed to mean? Though he never dropped his polite exterior, reminding himself to respect his elders. "It's nice to meet you." He began, looking at her unique tastes in fashions. "I don't understand what you mean though-"

Dr. Kureha laughed, adjusting her sunglasses at the top of her head. "Oh shit, what do you kids call it these days? Getting jiggy with it? Five knuckle shuffle? You know what I mean! A Hippity Dippity!"

Sanji blushed, only recognizing one of those phrases but knowing what she was getting at. What did the things that he and Zoro did have anything to do with this? Did he have some kind of sexual disease? That shitty Marimo told him he'd been a virgin just as well! He was going to protest but Dr. Kureha lifted up her hand to stop him. She rolled her eyes, turning another page in his chart.

"And I bet since you think you can pitch a tent you didn't use protection." She clicked at her tongue a few times then glanced at Chopper who was setting up the machine. "Chopper, that thing ready yet?"

Chopper spun around nodding. "Yes Dr. Kureha! Everything is ready to go!" He reported happily.

Sanji looked back and forth between them, still utterly confused. "Wait. What? What are you getting at?"

Dr. Kureha looked over at him and laughed again, tossing his chart in his direction, letting it hit the floor. "You moron! You're pregnant! Bun in the oven! Your eggo is preggo! Knocked up!"

Sanji froze, staring at her blankly. What? Pregnant? That wasn't possible. Last he checked, he was male all the way through. He wanted to protest but something about the way she'd announced the diagnosis took his voice away from him. He couldn't find it in himself to protest. His eyes turned to Chopper. Wasn't he just as shocked and in disbelief at this outcome? Surely he didn't also believe it?

Dr. Kureha got up and helped Chopper move the machine closer, then she glared over at the cook. "Are you deaf idiot? I told you to lay back so I can do this."

Sanji stared at her again for a moment then nodded, laying back. He didn't know what it was about this woman that kind of scared the shit out of him. He'd already been weird around women of authority, but this one took the award for most terrifying. He didn't even protest when she yanked his shirt up, chuckled at his abdomen and smeared it with gel. He was frozen in absolute shock. Then she put the wand of an ultrasound machine, Sanji had finally figured out what it was since he was apparently 'pregnant' and moved it around.

His eyes moved to the screen, watching it fearfully. Surely they wouldn't find anything. This was impossible! So then why did Chopper suddenly move to take his hand and squeeze it comfortingly? Dr. Kureha stopped then, flicking at the screen and sidestepping so they could get a better look.

"Look, right there Blondie." She said, pointing to a spot again. "Pregnant. Little baby number one." Then she moved her finger over across the screen. "Little baby number two."

Sanji's heart began to race and suddenly he could move his body again, jumping up in his seat, almost causing the doctor to lose her spot.

"Twins?! There's two!?" He looked back and forth between the doctor, Chopper, and the screen. "I'm PREGNANT?!"

He jumped off the bed, wiping at the gel with his hands, staring at them wide eyed.

"You guys are fucking crazy. There's no way!"

Dr. Kureha looked down at Chopper who was getting something from the back of the machine. Apparently they were fast enough to snap a picture of the ultra sound and Chopper held it up to the light. He was grinning in awe.

"This is so cool!"

Sanji finally found the tissues and began cleaning himself off, still glaring at them. "It's not cool! It's not possible!"

Dr. Kureha turned off the machine while laughing. Then she pointed straight at Sanji's stomach.

"Deny it all you want Blondie, but you'll be lucky if you don't start really showing in the next two weeks. You're having twins."

Just hearing it again made Sanji quickly move his hands away from his stomach, looking down at it, hissing at its bloated appearance. Pregnant? The hell... And twins!? How did this even happen? His heart was racing so fast and he didn't even know what to say, how to think. Was he supposed to just accept that?

"Oh no! Sanji don't cry!" Whimpered Chopper, rushing over and grabbing the tissue box again.

Sanji glanced up at him again. Crying? He wasn't... He wiped at his eyes, only to find there was liquid. What the hell was going on with him? He backed up into the doctor's table, feeling completely out of his element. He could've sworn he'd been more in control before he came here but this, this was madness.

"Chopper, get ready, he's a fainter." Dr. Kureha said, picking up the chart she'd flung for dramatic effect earlier.

Sanji didn't even look up at her, he just watched as Chopper handed him the ultrasound. He held it with a shaky hand, his face considerably pale. Then, just as the good doctor had predicted, he fainted. At least Chopper was strong enough to catch him before he could hit anything.


End file.
